Hello Everyone! Finally, here is the second part of this topic!
This subject is (as you can notice) inspired by the book “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene. If you haven’t read the first blog post, make sure to do so on this link.
Now, we can move on with this subject. Let’s continue with the remaining 5 types of seducers: The Coquette, The Charmer, The Charismatic, The Star and The Anti-Seducer.
People are a bit awkward – an easy prey is not as valuable as a difficult one. We only want what we cannot have and the ultimate art in seduction is in the process of delaying pleasure. Coquettes as seducers are masters at waiting and coordinating constant movement between expectation and frustration. Her greatest seductive power is the ability to turn away because they know that the more apparently you pursue a person, the more likely you are to chase them away. Most people do the exact reverse because they give in too soon or worry that the other person will lose interest – which is wrong.
Coquettes place their bait with the promise of reward (physical pleasure, happiness, power), but since it is elusive – it will make the target pursue it more intensely. They are cold and distant creatures on the surface, with the power of manipulating you, tapping into your insecurities and making you addicted to their attention. You run after them, it’s not the other way around. They are self-sufficient and narcissistic which is devilishly attractive.
Coquettes excite their victims with attention and at the same time, they send contrary signals which stimulates confusion. They are masters of hot & cold. The victim feels powerless, sad, angry or insanely jealous – but would do anything to have another round of illusive happiness. After they have given pleasure, the thought of their withdrawal makes us wait for their return.
They can even manipulate groups into worshiping them. But you may ask – how? Well, with simply giving everybody separately and occasionally a big amount of attention or something that their friends can never find with anyone else – maybe some ‘deep’ conversations, maybe with always knowing how to solve your problems, etc. The catch is that most of the time Coquettes are distant and mysterious – like they are punishing everybody with coldness even though they act normal if you ask anything. The result? – Everybody will start running after them and would want to please them in every single way. Yikes 😀
People who invest in their beauty, have little power in the end because beauty fades but charm is ageless.
The greatest trait a Charmer has is his ability to listen and observe. They represent a true source of pleasure and how do they manipulate? By aiming at people’s primary weaknesses: vanity and self-esteem.
Let me explain.
Charmers can seriously attract huge masses. They are the ones that don’t complain, whine and they never talk about themselves. Instead, charmers always want to know more about his victim – you are the center of attention, you are the star and everything is about you. Seems too good to be true right?
While this is incredibly seductive, at the same time it is very dangerous. In the process of being a ‘star’, you are revealing a great deal about yourself, especially your weaknesses and insecurities. Charmers know how to share, empathize and relieve your pain with being lighthearted, comforting and fun. They will never judge or criticize you because obviously, they are smarter than that.
Charmers often have pretty good social skills, they pop in different groups of people, they know everything and seem to have connections all over the place. This is very appealing because the victim feels like someone can make their lives easier, link them up with valuable people and solve their everyday problems. Who would not like to be around Charmers? They are incredibly useful and eager to make everyone happy. They deflect attention from themselves, focus it on their target and by drawing you in with their indulgence they make you dependent on them.
Nevertheless, among us mortals, there is a small group of people immune to Charmers – and those are the overly confident people and cynics because they don’t need validation.
Charismatics have unusual confidence in themselves. They are mysterious creatures who seem to have a purpose in life. People can’t quite figure them out. They are bold, adventurous, unconventional, eloquent, spontaneous and somewhat weird. So, why do people follow them?
Because charismatic men/women are natural-born leaders and people look up to them – they possess strong qualities and convictions that they wished they had themselves.
Every other normal human being does not have a strict goal, purpose, cause or a vision in life. We are just slowly trying to figure things out. And yet, somehow we look up to people who have. Charismatics have a plan they believe in, know where they are going and people instinctively want to follow them around as long as the idea behind the journey is very strong or meaningful. Also, they are eloquent with words and know exactly when and what to say.
Their words scream passion and decisiveness. Their actions are bold, theatrical and fearless – people trust them to salvage a situation when needed. But, charismatics don’t care if crowds love them because they are too involved with their own ideas. They are not afraid of being judged or ridiculed – and that’s incredibly seductive because people nowadays want to get to that level of self-sufficiency and confidence.
Charismatics have guts, especially in times of uncertainty or when a problem appears, they are the first to step up. Most people compromise or change their way of thinking, but not charismatics. They do everything by their own beliefs and because of that, they can gather a strong crowd of followers. It’s a ‘Hero’ Syndrome – when someone imagines you can save them from turmoil, they will like you instantly.
Stars are mysterious and fascinating. They are an object of admiration, as the Stars – everyone admires their beauty but no one can get close to them. What’s the most seductive trait about this character?
Freedom. Freedom of our daily mundane lives, problems, and troubles. We all want to escape in a world of fantasies and dreams – and Stars feed on this weakness. Their dreamlike quality gets us, we instantly want to imitate them, get to know and be close to them. Usually, this is very hard. Stars can reveal a small portion of their true selves, even with their closest friends, that’s why you won’t feel like you truly know their characters. They really are creatures of mystery.
Stars seduce on a greater scale. People create an illusion, an image of them, and an ideal without even knowing them. Most of the Stars nowadays are famous people or people who gained some fair amount of popularity among the society. A star may be even a hometown girl in her High School if kids fantasize and invent stories about her. People prefer to think that the Star qualities come from their personality and character because that is simply something Stars were born with?… or so we think.
Seduction seeks to stir the unconscious mind and the most sensitive expression of the unconscious is the dream, which is associated with a myth. Dreams push realities to extremes even though they are filled with real situations. The fusion between dreams and reality haunts us because that is something that seems simultaneously strange and familiar. No wonder why we love Stars so much.
I think that this is pretty much self-explanatory – Anti-seducers don’t have a seductive quality. They repel us with their insecurity and they are unable to grasp the psychology of people. This type of people are concerned only with their pleasure, have no self-awareness, don’t realize when they impose or talk too much.
There are a few kinds of Anti-Seducers:
The Brute – Always impatient, concerned with themselves only. They will gladly skip the seduction and will easily overreact if you make them wait.
The Suffocator – Oh God! They will obsess over you without even knowing who you really are. They are in constant need of affection so they will cling to you like you are a God or something. They will be unable to disagree with you and will follow you around all day long.
The Moralizer – This is a special type of people. They are so rigid and trapped in their own rules so they will easily criticize and judge you because of the need for making you a better person. They have fixed ideas and will try to make you follow their standards. How to recognize them? Easy. Moralizers are unable to adapt and enjoy life.
The Tightwad – Oh they are so cheap. Cheap with feelings, money, even themselves. They rarely live in the moment and give in. Tightwads must calculate everything and they will frustrate you very much with this nagging “quality”. And you know what? If they offer you something convenient – which is like a normal thing to do for someone – they consider is as a huge act of generosity. It’s even funny if you think about it.
The Bumbler – Very self-conscious and selfish. They might make you think that they are thinking about you, but in fact, they are only thinking of themselves. They are incapable of getting outside themselves and have no sense of timing.
The Windbag – They simply cannot shut up! Constantly talking about themselves. Selfishness overboard!
The Reactor – So vain. You can’t even make a joke about them, they will get mad or maybe even cry because they are too sensitive – but only for themselves.
The Vulgarian – Talks everything about everyone in every situation. Their lack of control and perception and no sense of timing makes them very unattractive.
So guys, that’s it! 😀
I hope that you enjoyed this second article. Maybe next time we can continue with the Victims? That might be interesting. 😀
Oh, and I would love to know if you recognized yourself or someone you know in this post – share your thoughts in the comments down below!
Have a wonderful day!